What Do You Have To Do For A Castle Around Here?
by Senket
Summary: Another of those Fairy Tale stories, eventual KxH shonen ai. Kurama is the princess of the kindom unfortunately, his admirers are annoying, and he really, really needs to get layed. Thank you for telling us, Yuusuke. Well, we'll have to see what we can
1. Princess Kurama

TITLE: What do you have to do for a castle around here?

CHAPTER: Princess Kurama 1?

AUTHOR: Kami Beverly

FANDOM: Yu Yu Hakusho

GENRE: Parody/Romance/Comedy

RATING: PG

WARNING: shonen-ai in future

DISCLAMER: I don't own anything.

SUMMARY: Another of those Fairy Tale stories, eventual KxH shonen ai. Kurama is the princess of the kindom (unfortunately), his admirers are annoying, and he really, really needs to get layed. Thank you for telling us, Yuusuke. Well, we'll have to see what we can do about that.

NOTES: It's too early in the morning?

* * *

His name was Cinderella. Or, if you prefer, Snow White. Wait, wait a second. Let me try that again.

His name was Kurama. He was a princess (yes, princess. The towns-people had this weird thing with wanting to dress him up as a girl, and so preferred to think of him as such.) He was a very youthful, beautiful, powerful princess, and had many admirers, all from other kingdoms, none who translated his annoyed expressions and his friend's snickers properly.

They all figured Kurama had some sort of secret lover, and that she was annoyed because she just wanted a liberal, no hassle wedding without the prince necessity. But no. Kurama was annoyed because they obviously didn't realize he was a he. Male. Entirely male.

Today was no difference. The princess stomped out of the great hall towards the stables, Yuusuke following behind him with a snicker, reciting lines of poetry the newestsuitor had sung in an effort to woo the pretty redhead.

"O, past thy wondr'ous gaze of pure emerald,

I see that thou breathests perfection true

Reflecting in thy graceful movements

I long for lov'ly wint'ry nights with you."

"You can shut up now," the princess gritted out, teeth grinding. Yuusuke burst into laughter, completely immune to the furious 'wondr'ous gaze of pure emerald' that was the royal child's glare. Kurama sighed audibly as he pulled up his voluminous skirts, truthfully more annoyed than angry.

Yuusuke grinned cheekily, throwing one arm around the teen. "Aw, you know I didn't mean it, _princess_."

"Yes, I know Yuusuke," he sighed, pursing his lips. They passed through the lower halls quickly, reaching the door. They both slid out the door, moving towards the stables. The back of Kurama's dress trailed in the mud, but he really didn't care. He sighed in relief as he climbed up the ladder to reach the upper floor of the large wooden structure, finding a small bundle of clothing.

"Don't take too long, I hear the suitors coming," the dark-haired teen snickered as he led a black horse out of its stall, reaching over the large creature to retrieve a saddle and other equipment.

Kurama rolled his eyes as he tugged off the dress, pulling on some breeches.

Yuusuke was long used to the princess's random silences, and merely smirked as he finished setting up the strong mare, moving a few stalls down to retrieve a grey, dappled stallion. He wasn't quite as beautiful as the black beauty, but largely built, and Yuusuke's favorite riding horse. The thing was wonderful for hunting, too. He had just mounted when Kurama reappeared, bearing a simple tunic and rough canvas pants.

The nobleman's bastard grinned at the princess, directing the stallion towards the barn door. "Ready then, princess?"

The green-eyed beauty rolled his eyes, though a small smile curved over his lips as he tied up his long mane of red-velvet strands in a leather band. "I am now," he grinned, almost jumping on the mare's back and spurring her outside gently with his heels. She trotted away, Yuusuke following the pair with a grin.


	2. Robin Hood Hiei

TITLE: What do you have to do for a castle around here?

CHAPTER: Robin Hood Hiei!

AUTHOR: Senket

FANDOM: Yu Yu Hakusho

GENRE: Parody/Romance/Comedy

RATING: PG

WARNING: future shonen-ai, possibly yaoi

DISCLAMER: I don't own anything.

SUMMARY: Another of those Fairy Tale stories, eventual KxH shonen ai. Kurama is the princess of the kingdom (unfortunately), his admirers are annoying, and he really, really needs to get laid. Thank you for telling us, Yuusuke. Well, we'll have to see what we can do about that.

NOTES: It both felt like time I did something that wasn't Kingdom Hearts and that was comedy. ; Hiei's a bit OOC…

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Kurama felt much better as he and Yuusuke made their way deeper into to woods, away from demanding parents, 'valiant' and terribly horny suitors and blushing, giggling maiden. One of them had even had the galls to ask him about the intimacy of his relationship with Yuusuke. (They had fooled around once or twice, yes, but they had a definite 'no thanks' to ever having a real romantic relationship.) And did the line of them ever end?

The pretty redhead heaved a sigh, raising his gaze to the sky flashing between the intertwined branches. Yuusuke gave a quiet-smiled comment from behind and he cocked his head, only vaguely aware of his surroundings as his aching headache ebbed away.

A moment later he heard the boyish male's rich laughter, and he turned to look with a sour expression. "What's so funny."

"You're obviously not paying attention to a thing, K'rama."

He pulled off a nicely miffed look, turning his nose up. "What makes you say that?"

Yuusuke shrugged, smirk never leaving his face, and Kurama was forced to give it up, a low growl in his throat. Something changed in a flash of gray fur, something probably a hare- no. His horse was too edgy for that. He glanced back at Yuusuke, worried, and the brunet gave him a bemused look, though it was obvious his stallion was acting up.

He tossed his head as Kurama's mare gave a twitchy snort, before the gray thing crossed the path, brushing up against the black horse's legs. She reared, letting out a high-pitched shriek and dashing back down the path. Kurama picked himself up from the ground slowly, wincing as a bone in his back creaked.

Yuusuke's stallion was a bit braver, but once he dismounted to check on His Royal Highness the Princess, it took off after the female. "Anything hurt?"

"Bruised tailbone, I'd wager, but I doubt anything major." The redhead's breathing had become a bit shallower from the shock, but by all appearances he would be able to pull through easily- just a bit dirty. That's when they heard the growl and realized quite what had spooked the horses.

They turned slowly, facing a wolf. It looked as though it hadn't found too much prey recently, judging by its more desperate sort of wildness. It was low to the ground, one ear twitching. Kurama wondered where the rest of its pack was, and Yuusuke noted to himself that it seemed like a juvenile. But a desperate wild animal was a dangerous one, regardless of the strangeness of the situation, and neither of them had a weapon of any sort.

One too a faltering step back and the other put himself half in the way, though with a wince. This wouldn't be pretty, anyway.

Yuusuke fell into a defensive position. Yeah, as though _that_ would do any good. But just as the creature was about to launch itself at them, a small form dropped onto it, boots balanced on its back. "Attacking random nobility again, are we?" The voice was strangely deep considering the size of the- man, it seemed- a tiny bit of laughter hidden in a corner of its tone. He jumped off without a thought, punching the creature on the nose. ((A.N.: I really can't remember whether or not it works on wolves specifically. I know many creatures have very sensitive noses)) It darted off with a yelp, and the man watched it with a glint of amusement.

That glint disappeared as he turned vivid red eyes to the pair. "My, my. Stupid, are we."

Yuusuke was about to reply with something insulting, defensively, when Kurama cut him off with a hand on his shoulder. "It would seem so. Thanks for saving our lives though."

The man snorted, obviously unimpressed. "You wouldn't need it if you and your dumb rich friends didn't decide to throw out the wolf pack from their forest and accidentally leave one of them behind."

The redhead cocked his head, looking up to the sky thoughtfully. "Oh, is that what happened," he remarked to himself. "I told father that was a bad idea…"

"What was that, now?"

"Oh nothing!" he smiled. "And who would you be?"

"No reason for you to know," the short man snorted, turning away. "Come with me, I'll check if you've got any wounds."

Yuusuke watched his back with a critical eye, still in defensive mode. Kurama chuckled at the brunet, walking past him and after the newcomer. "Check to see if he's got wounds my ass," the young man snorted. "K'rama's perfectly fine. This guys got some ulterior motive, I just know it."

"Stop muttering to yourself back there!" Kurama called back to his friend, laughing. "C'mon Yuu!"


End file.
